Birds Eye View

Exits like a lamb

Written by Birds Eye View
Tuesday, 02 March 2010
There's an old weather lore attached to March that goes something like this: ‘March comes in like a lion, but exits like a lamb.’ When I came across this little snippet, I thought that the same phrase could be applied to most of the men that had the misfortune of getting involved with me over the years. I'm not sure what it is that I actually did, but whatever it was, I can honestly say that the confident stags that came through my front door with a semi-erection on that first date were nothing like the hunched specimens who exited it at the end of every relationship. Read More

If moods were mammaries

Written by Birds Eye View
Thursday, 04 February 2010
February is the one month of the year when, if my moods were actually mammaries, I'd be classed as flat as a pancake. The minute I've washed my hands of January, my sights are firmly set on March and no amount of crepes, roses or romantic rhymes can console me. But whether you love it or loathe it, you can't escape February, just as you can't escape a row of fat, spotty arses squashed against a coach window. Read More