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Written by The Edge Editor
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
Uncle Morris
At school one day, the teacher asked the class whether any members of their family weren’t any good at stuff. Little Johnny immediately put his hand up and said, “My Uncle Morris was a shit ventriloquist. He used to stick his fingers up my arse and tell me not to say anything.”
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Written by Northern Lass
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
As with the long tradition of Irish jokes, some gags about the North exploit the notion that we're all a bit stupid.
Take the following examples of some typical wisecracks at our expense:
Q. Why wasn't Jesus born in Yorkshire?
A. Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin in Leeds.
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Written by Cheryl Norton
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
Our neighbours have two cats which both seem lovely and cute, but one of them has taken to using our front garden as its own personal toilet, and nothing I do seems to stop it, writes Cheryl Barry.
I realise I'm going to sound like a female version of grumpy Victor Meldrew here, and there are plenty of more pressing and serious problems in the world right now, although I swear to God, I've just about reached the end of my tether with this damn cat. After weeks of stepping out of my front door to the incredibly unpleasant smell of poo, I've made it my own personal mission to do something about it.
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
If you recall, the weekend of 6th/7th March was the first truly glorious weekend we’ve had in 2010, writes The Edge Editor. Cold, yes, but such wonderful clear blue skies and so lovely and sunny to boot. We certainly weren’t going to look such a gift horse in the mouth and after ‘pottering’ in the garden on the Saturday (yep, I’ve reached the age where I now ‘potter’ - or in other words, ‘do whatever it is the good lady wife tells me to’), we wrapped up warm and saddled-up on the Sunday for our very first cycle of the year (destination: a country pub).
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
Once again it’s The Grand National on Saturday 10th April, a time of year when women get all tarted up....hang on a minute, that’s Ladies Day at Royal Ascott, isn’t it? Ah yes, the National, a time of year when idiot punters (people who don’t normally bet) part with a couple of quid in an office sweepstakes, just to keep from being labelled ‘tight’, ‘boring’ and ‘you make me sick, you do’.
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Written by David Sherman
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Friday, 26 March 2010 |
OK, so it's not exactly in Brentwood, but it definitely is a brewery, so anyone who's more interested in their Satnav than their pint is probably called Billy No-Mates, writes The Shermanator. Hidden away up a farm track out the back of North Weald and Coxtie Green, BBC was established in 2006 and has gone from strength to strength ever since.
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