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 With the freezing cold temperatures we've been having to endure lately, there's been a steady influx of sickly people coughing and suffering with all sorts of nasty germs. Commuting on the trains to work has been like travelling with the walking dead. It’s honestly been impossible to avoid sitting near or next to someone who isn't spluttering and spitting all over the place, and at this rate, we'll all be passing the germs around between us ’til mid-June.
Men, the poor creatures, generally tend to suffer more. They sniff and complain loudly that, "This surely can’t be a mere cold? It has to be flu, or a virus, at the very least?" Heaven forbid they admit to suffering from a head cold. Men always want attention for something that at least sounds vaguely life threatening.
And, in such times of the ongoing credit crunch, there's probably one
industry alone that is booming, and that's the drugs industry.
Apparently, the winter remedies market is now worth £220million a year.
When you think about it, that's not really a surprise, for it seems
that even when money is tight, we are still the same busy, impatient
people who simply do not have time to deal with a cold. We therefore
think nothing of blowing £20 for ludicrously marketed products that
seemingly promise us an ultra-quick recovery. Just a mere glance at our
nearest Boots counter reveals potions screaming out us you with names
such as Lemsip MAX, Neurofen PLUS, Anadin EXTRA, Panadol ULTRA and
somewhat bizarrely - Kleenex Anti Viral Embalmed Tissues. Blimey! It
really does sound like the pharmaceutical industry is about to enter
some kind of high speed race and they'll be designing go faster stripes
on their boxes next. Drug companies, together with chemists, must be
laughing out loud with glee right now. When you look at the packaging
of all these products, you realise that, in effect, we are all just
paying over the odds for a bit of glorified paracetamol and a few
vitamins, along with a box of silky tissue paper.
Rather than be seen as weak and take to our beds for a few days, simply
to sweat it out, we soldier on with our expensive medical kit, popping
pills by the dozen, whilst continuing to spread germs amongst our
friends, work colleagues and fellow commuters, thereby creating a whole
host of brand new customers for the likes of the drug companies’
Neurofen (Express) and Anadin (Extra) etc.
The irony of all this is that whilst I can see the marketing hype in
action and realise that it's really all a bit of a con, I am one of
those very people who gets suckered in every single time.
A couple of weeks ago, I fell foul to one of these common colds. I felt
rubbish and had a banging headache, sore throat and bad cough, but I
simply didn't want to take any time off work from my (still relatively)
new job. And anyway, I really did have far too much on my plate to be
ill. Besides which, it was only a mere cold after all (as opposed to a
dangerous sounding disease that men get). So I forked out for various
hotions and potions and dosed myself up in a bid to feel better, only
it wasn't until I nearly passed out on the train going into work one
morning (bizarrely whilst sitting down) that I caved in and took to my
bed. Thereupon, a bit of much needed rest and regular hot drinks for a
couple of days soon saw me right as rain again and worked far better
than any turbo charged fuel injected cold powder or pills.
Yet with so many people worrying about losing their jobs these days and
most of us not having the time or the patience to deal with being ill,
taking a couple of days out to sleep under the duvet is unlikely to be
an option. So instead, we continue to shell out on premium products and
continue to go about merrily spreading our germs. Perhaps Neurofen,
instead of creating a ‘Best Ever Extra Version 7.2’ range of headache
pills, could, in fact, design and market an expensive, bizarrely styled
fashion mask (Olbas Oil lined, of course) that we could all wear on the
buses and trains to stop us spreading so many dratted germs?
Remember, you read it here first!
Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling under the weather of late, Cheryl. I
always think alcohol works best - for anything - but particularly where
women’s colds and men’s Black Plague is concerned. Just dose yourself
up with whisky, hot water, honey and....more whisky! E.E.
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