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Written by Tracie
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
I've had to flex my muscles on Him Indoors this month after I discovered he’d gone and changed his Mobile Phone Tariff to unlimited calls and texts. I mean, you only have to look at the stories in the newspapers to know that a man on the loose with a mobile phone is a very dangerous man indeed. Him Indoors said he wanted to save money. I said, “Likely story. You’re obviously up to no good.”
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
This month readers, you're witnessing something that has NEVER happened before in the history of The Edge magazine. For one issue only, there will be NO glossy photos of fit, young women with silky cleavages and zoo-sex smiles plastered all over its pages. Are you all OK with that? Oh, purr-lease guys, you must know I'm only teasing ya!
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Written by Birds Eye View
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
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There's an old weather lore attached to March that goes something like this: ‘March comes in like a lion, but exits like a lamb.’ When I came across this little snippet, I thought that the same phrase could be applied to most of the men that had the misfortune of getting involved with me over the years. I'm not sure what it is that I actually did, but whatever it was, I can honestly say that the confident stags that came through my front door with a semi-erection on that first date were nothing like the hunched specimens who exited it at the end of every relationship.
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Written by Kingpin
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Now I know it's old news that the great Edward Woodward died some months ago, but I've just recently been reading up on him a bit and found an interesting little fact, writes Kingpin. When I was a lad, I absolutely loved The Equalizer. Even then, the notion of someone helping the underdog and dispensing summary justice to evildoers and miscreants resonated with me, but I had no idea just how much it touched other people too.
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Written by Kingpin
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Insert dowel 85,689 onto slot X1.5 whilst facing north north-west in a pair of Wellington boots beneath a full moon
Did you know that the Swedish have no word for Ergonomics, writes Kingpin in order to help me out! At least, that's all I can assume having attempted to put up some of their dratted furniture of late.
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Clearly your editor has always fancied his chances of making a right good Scout Leader, but did you know that the Scouts are the worlds largest voluntary youth movement with some 28 million members in over 250 countries?
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've not got much to put in it.
She said: You wear underpants, don't you?
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Written by David Sherman
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
If you are reading this article, the chances are you like a pint or two (and I'm not talking about milk), writes The Shermanator. Chances are, too, that you frequently find yourself grumbling about, or at least struck by, the fact that the price of beer routinely rises by more than the rate of inflation. You may well have had to cut your consumption due to the prohibitive cost, or grudgingly decided to spend less time and money in the pub and order some lesser, but cheaper, packaged beer from your local off-license or supermarket. There are a number of factors behind the high cost of beer in this country, but one of them is undoubtedly the high and ever-increasing rate of taxation on our national drink.
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
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Written by Cheryl Norton
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
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Don't you just hate it when things go wrong, asks Cheryl Barry?
I'm not talking about anything major; just silly things that take time and effort to fix and are a general inconvenience.
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
8 WORDS with TWO MEANINGS
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female. Any part under a car's hood.
Male. The strap-fastener on a woman's bra.
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Written by Northern Lass
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
THE ANGST OF ANG – THE NORTHERN MONKEY SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LONDON
Before You Go...
First, you'll need to work out what to pack. Ask a Southern Jessie and they'll probably tell you to pack shorts, suntan lotion and a fan to help you cope with the sweltering climate down south. This is but a sad southern delusion. You'll actually find the weather isn't massively different from the north. At any rate, you shouldn't waste the valuable packing space. Instead, simply find every spare bag and case in your house and stuff them full of cash to prepare for the extortionate prices you’re about to find.
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Written by letters
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Edge in Cologne
Dear Edge,
There I was, stuck in my lonely, boring hotel room in Cologne, Germany, when I decided to log onto the proposterously expensive Wi-Fi to collect my emails, and there it was....THE EDGE!
What a relief!
Keep up the good work.
Gary Bainbridge
South Woodham Ferrers.
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Written by Rich
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Conclusive Proof
Two Eskimos were sitting shivering in a kayak, so they lit a fire in the craft. Naturally it sank, proving irrefutably that ‘you cannot have your kayak and heat it’.
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Written by Kingpin
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Hands up who knew that all the bees are disappearing, asks Kingpin?
Those of you who did can sit in the ‘nerd corner’, with me. The rest of you can keep on reading. It might sound a bit daft, but it's true and actually rather serious.
All over the planet, bees are disappearing, and have been for several years, which is causing much consternation in the world of men who wear those odd looking hats with the veils, not to mention people that want to break the biggest beard of bees record. It's actually something that we should all be concerned about.
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Written by Kingpin
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
Text Speak. I bloody hate it, reports The Kingmeister. I understand that we're all very busy people these days (and still with an extremely large percentage of people who’re busy doing fuck all), and all those extra seconds it would have taken to type a complete, coherent sentence are absolutely vital to you. But please, for the love of Mike, at least try and talk bloody sense.
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Written by The Edge Editor
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 |
TV GOLD – THE PERSUADERS
‘GOLD! Always believe in your soul, you’ve got the power to know, you’re indestructible....’
And this month readers: The Persuaders.
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