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Written by Fat Capitalist Pig
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Friday, 18 December 2009 |
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Borrow, Borrow, Borrow…
So my friends, completely broke? Credit Card statement thudded onto the front door mat yet? Excessive Christmas spending? Full of remorse? Don't worry, just follow the example of our own Government. Borrow tons and tons of money (much more than you need, actually, but borrow it anyway before your rating isn't worth the paper its written on) and borrow it over at least a 15 year period so you can forget it’s actually there, as the repayments won't be very big, unless (and until) you need to borrow again.
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Written by Fat Capitalist Pig
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Tuesday, 27 October 2009 |
Thank the Lord next year a General Election is due. At the very latest, in May 2010. Should we care? Even if we do, what difference will it make? Not very interested in the subject? Bored already? Well, perhaps you're right so far as statistics are concerned.
The startling fact is that the under 30's appear to be apathetic. Actually, this is a very peripheral interpretation.
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Written by Fat Capitalist Pig
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Tuesday, 06 October 2009 |
by a FAT CAPITALIST PIG in LEAFY SURREY
Caribbean Contempt
Call me mad if you like, but the thought of another holiday sweating on a sunlounger after taking eight hours to get there was, in the end, too much of a privilege. And for what? To watch large numbers of Anglophiles, if not Brits, dedicating their entire evenings to inebriation (sorry, make that fun). No, such held no appeal to me. I've done all the water skiing and sailing I can stomach in this lifetime, thank you very much. Yes, yes, I know, I know, I am well aware of the countless thousands who would give various limbs for a holiday in the Caribbean. But the truth of the matter is, familiarity does breed contempt, and in my own particular case, lots of it.
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Written by Fat Capitalist Pig
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Thursday, 30 July 2009 |
So much for ‘leafy’ Cobham
Enthusiasts of this column will have noted recent rapes and muggings in the heart of ‘leafy, gated property-dom’. Now we have a murder covered very fully in the national press. Mind you, the murderer was no fool, having left the body in a wheelie bin, confident of non-detection for at least a month if my collections are any benchmark. It took them (Elmbridge Borough Council) three weeks of persistent calling on my part to honour the £30-a-year, twice-monthly garden waste collection. Then it happened again.
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Written by Fat Capitalist Pig
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Monday, 01 June 2009 |
 Service in the UK
I do feel so self-conscious when I have to be such a killjoy and interrupt our delicious shop assistant girls describing in intimate detail the nature of their latest late night romp. I do try to be ever so polite, apologising for my interruption, yet more often than not the reply is, "That's OK!" Stupid, as well as ill-mannered. In the event that my ‘Cloak of Invisibility’ isn't working on that particular day and service is forthcoming, I am consumed with an overwhelming desire to hug any individual concerned. But such is soon extinguished when the existence of an item but three inches from their fingertips is usually denied.
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