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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Tuesday, 06 October 2009 |
Antiques Roadshow
A man who turned up at the filming of an episode of the Antiques Roadshow was left red-faced when he was told what he thought was an expensive bottle was simply an old bottle from Tesco. Presenter Fiona Bruce revealed how the collector arrived with the item he had spent more than £1,000 on, only for a glass expert to tell him: "It's just an empty olive oil bottle. It’s probably Tesco circa 2008. It’s worth absolutely nothing." |
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Monday, 01 June 2009 |
 A man who refused to take off his clothes at a raunchy party has been blamed for a mini-riot at an Australian nudist resort.
Police were called amid threats of violence and ordered the Brisbane man and his wife to leave the ‘anything goes’ sex party, reports Porn News Down Under for The Edge.
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Tuesday, 10 March 2009 |
A man (well, women don’t do this sort of thing, do they?) smashed his way into an adult shop and had sex with a blow-up doll before abandoning the sex toy in a nearby alley. Police believe the same culprit was responsible for three other similar break-ins to similar shops in recent weeks. The owner of one adult shop, who wishes to be named only as Vogue, said that the man stole five dolls, but had sex with only one of them. |
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Monday, 02 February 2009 |
Navy Skipper's Bikini Gaffe
An Australian Navy submarine commander is in trouble for suggesting women sailors wearing bikinis would boost recruitment appeal.
Commander Tom Phillips also revealed that the submarine equivalent of the ‘mile-high club’ was the ‘going down club’.
In an interview with men's watersports magazine Depth, he revealed that the naval uniform works to either ‘pull a chick’ or ‘get into a fight’.
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Thursday, 08 January 2009 |
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Bookies are facing a one million pound plus payout if a
psychic's prediction that a massive UFO will appear in our skies proves
to be true. Australian 'channeler' Blossom Goodchild (36DD) says a huge
intergalactic spaceship from the alien ‘Federation Of Light’ will
appear “in our skies in a bit”. |
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Thursday, 27 November 2008 |
Escort Agency Launches Special ‘Virgin Service’ for Geeks A Dutch escort agency has launched a special virgin service for computer geeks. Sociology student Zoe Vialet, who created the service, says she has been receiving “an awful lot of enquiries from virgins.” Most apparently work in the IT sector. "They’re all rather sweet,” says Zoe, “but they’re petrified of seeking out social interaction.” |
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Saturday, 04 October 2008 |
 Woman Arrested Over Lasagne Attack
Police have arrested a woman for allegedly attacking her husband with a frozen lasagne. The suspected case of 'lasagne abuse' occurred in Great Baddow, Chelmsford, where Amanda Trott was having an argument with her husband. Apparently, a neighbour called the police after hearing abuse and screaming. When they arrived, Mr. Trott, the great tart, claimed he had been slapped in the face and then had the frozen meal thrown at him by his wife.
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Tuesday, 23 September 2008 |
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S preading The F-word
A foul-mouthed parrot, who once told a vicar to f off, has been teaching other birds how to swear. Barney, the macaw, has also refused to clean up his act despite being taken to a language specialist.
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Written by Lengthy Boy
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Monday, 22 September 2008 |
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C helmsford badgers - sorry, burglars - broke into a house, only to find it full of police officers staging a drugs raid.
The pair jemmied open a window to get into the house in a dawn raid, only little did they know that they’d been beaten to it by police officers who had just burst through the front door intent on searching the shack for drugs. The property was allegedly being used for growing hydroponic cannabis and detectives were seeking to arrest the resident, a man in his early 20s. Obviously the startled burglars fled, but were soon caught a couple of days later, said Det. Sgt. Paul Spudgun of the all new Chelmsford Police Squad. "It was certainly an unusual collar," he said, although declined to comment any further as to whether the badgers - sorry, burglars - had been after money or drugs.
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