Navy Skipper's Bikini Gaffe

Written by Lengthy Boy

Monday, 02 February 2009

Navy Skipper's Bikini Gaffe
An Australian Navy submarine commander is in trouble for suggesting women sailors wearing bikinis would boost recruitment appeal.
Commander Tom Phillips also revealed that the submarine equivalent of the ‘mile-high club’ was the ‘going down club’.
In an interview with men's watersports magazine Depth, he revealed that the naval uniform works to either ‘pull a chick’ or ‘get into a fight’.
When asked, "If female sailors all had to be hot and had to wear bikinis, would that help recruitment?" the commander was quoted as saying, "It would certainly attract the right demographic of young men, although I'm not sure such a campaign would get the green light."
The country's opposition and feminist groups have taken exception to Phillips’ comments in the article, demanding immediate action.
Australia's Minister for Defence Personnel, Warren Snowden, said the comments were "utterly unacceptable".
"If these comments are to be attributed to this newly-appointed commander, I think it will go down as one of the shortest careers in naval history," MP Bob Baldwin chipped in (who asked you, Bob?).
Australia's Navy is suffering a recruitment crisis and had to stand down for two months over the Christmas period, due to their not being enough available personnel to man the vessels.

Crook Hid In Carpet
A crook tried to dodge a police search by disguising himself as a roll of carpet. The thief somehow managed to roll himself up into a giant offcut and propped himself up against a balcony wall whilst cops searched his aunt's flat in Warsaw, Poland, after he had held up a cosmetics shop.
He was only found after a two hour search when a fed up detective went out onto the balcony for a smoke and noticed the carpet was trembling.
Miroslaw Dabrowski (32) is now facing 12 years in jail for armed robbery.

Man Shoots Toilet
A US man had his gun confiscated after he accidentally shot a lavatory bowl in a restaurant toilet.
The 26-year-old man's handgun went off whilst he was hitching up his pants, reports the Salt Lake Tribune.
Police say the bullet shattered the toilet and sent sharp shards into the man's ball-bag which required hospital treatment.
Nobody was badly hurt in the incident in Centreville, Utah, but a woman in a neighbouring toilet complained about being startled.
Police confiscated the man's (lethal) weapon, for which he had a permit.
Police spokesman Lt. Dick Holder said, "The gun apparently fell out of his holster, struck the tiled floor and went off. It could have been a lot worse than mere testicular scratches.”

Police Test Horse For Alcohol
Traffic police in Romania recently tested a horse for alcohol after the cart it had been pulling hit a man who was sitting on a bench.
The officers, from Lelesti in Gorj county, asked a vet to take a blood sample which subsequently turned out to be positive.
Witnesses told police that “the horse looked out of control" despite its owners desperate efforts to control it.
Ion Dragan (56) told police that he had only just bought the horse from a fairground and was walking it home.
Police now suspect that the horse might have been given alcohol to make it appear stronger and healthier before it was sold.
Vernon Iliuta, head of the local veterinary authority, said he was amazed when police asked him to establish the alcohol concentration in the horse's blood.
"We have never had such a request before,” said Big Vern. “Maybe to see what kind of blood an animal has, yes. But to find out if an animal is drunk as a skunk or not? No, never."
The 86-year-old victim, who had been sitting on a bench outside his home, minding his own business, died from his injuries.

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