The Edge Magazine Chelmsford Fanzine

PADDY POWER

Written by The Edge Editor   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Paddy Power reckon ENGLAND are fourth favourites to actually win the damn thing!

Come on. Surely it’s one thing to be patriotic and quite another to be stark raving bonkers, reports The Edge Editor.
As a bloke, I think the older you get, the more you start to turn into your Dad. Unfortunately, one of the things I’ve inherited from my Dad is.... Put it like this; he once told me, when I was about 11, that he never bothered looking forward to things because when he did, as a lad, they never materialised (Belgian Buns at the weekend, trips to the seaside, a brand new bike for Christmas, things of that ilk). So for me to rate England’s chances in South Africa and actually mean it...

 

ELECTION FEVER

Written by Cheryl Norton   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
When you read this, the election result will be either known or about to be announced.  As it is, I’m writing this in early April and we're only on day two of the election campaign, writes Cheryl Barry. I have less than four weeks to make a decision about who to vote for and apparently I'm not alone. 

 

UFO IN BUS LANE

Written by The Edge Editor   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
UFO sited as reason for bloke driving in bus lane…
This is a cracker, and best of all, it’s true!
A driver, fined £120 by Chelmsford Magistrates Court for driving in the bus lane down New London Road, contested the case on the grounds that he said he’d had to swerve (into the bus lane) to avoid a UFO fast approaching in the opposite direction.
 

BEWARE – Tiger on the LOOSE!

Written by The Edge Editor   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Enough has been written about Tiger Woods’ private life by people who don’t even know what it’s like to stand in Tiger Woods’ shoes, and  naturally neither does The Edge. So hey, seeing as every bugger else and their dog has ‘had a pop’ at him, surely it’s only fair that The Edge should try to......DEFEND HIM!

 

Bird’s Eye View

Written by Birds Eye View   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
For the last year, I've been on a mission to discover how our bodies work at every level. I think most of us know more about our cars or our mobiles than we do about our own bits’n’bobs. Along the way, I've covered a lot of baffling medical and nutritional ground, and encountered some eye opening facts and a mass of contradictory research. My bias has been towards the female body, because I happen to own one, and it's developed some nasty glitches in the past eighteen months.

 

ATTENZIONE: prostitute

Written by The Edge Editor   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
You know those red triangular signs you see by the sides of roads that indicate potential danger; perhaps depicting rocks falling down a cliffside, or possibly an old couple crossing?
Well, a new one that’s recently come to The Edge’s attention was designed by Giovanni Azzolini, the Mayor of Mogliano, a town in the Italian province of Treviso.

 

GIVE US A BREAK

Written by Tracie   
Thursday, 29 April 2010
I don't know about you, but one thing that has really started to irritate me is shops that keep trying to sell me things I don't need, writes Tracie. Take, for instance, the other day in a well known chemists. I popped in at lunchtime to buy some women's personal things and joined the inevitable queue to pay. I’m an old fashioned girl at heart and hate those adverts that say ‘have a happy period’ and show a woman skateboarding all over the place. I just want to be left in peace to be a woman, discreetly, if you know what I mean.

 

EDGE EDITOR’S COLON APRIL 2010

Written by The Edge Editor   
Friday, 26 March 2010
OK, so I’ve got my very own column back, and thank Christ for that.
What I want to write about this month is a trip up to London with ‘The Edge Bitches’ (they don’t have to answer to that, ’course they don’t, but they DO....so any of you who’ve got a problem with me referring to them as ‘bitches’ needs to take it up with them and not me, OK?).


 

Addicted to Lurve

Written by Steve Ward   
Friday, 26 March 2010
Some people just can't get enough. Enough of what, you may ask? The answer is: enough of anything and everything. There are individuals who have some sort of gene malfunction that means they have addictive personalities, so they develop into alcoholics, inveterate gamblers, or junkies. There's something in their make-up that just doesn't allow them to do moderate and insists that everything has to be consumed to the max.

 

KILLER

Written by Kingpin   
Friday, 26 March 2010
This month I have mainly been delving into the shadowy, labyrinthine mind of a killer, writes The Kingmeister.

Well, actually, that's not strictly true, but it's a pretty good first line, hey? What I’ve been doing is researching psychopaths and finding out just how brilliant these people are.

 

TV GOLD – STARSKY & HUTCH

Written by The Edge Editor   
Friday, 26 March 2010
‘GOLD! Always believe in your (David) Soul, you’ve got the power to know, you’re....’

Starsky & Hutch (callsign: Zebra 3) was a worldwide smash of seventies cool, gloss and gun blazing action from surely our two favourite LAPD cops of all time, writes The Edge Editor.


 

CHARITY CYCLE RIDE – SUNDAY 2nd MAY 2010

Written by The Edge Editor   
Friday, 26 March 2010
The  Edge watched the likes of Davina McCall, Patrick Kielty and David Walliams cycle from John O’Groats to Land’s End in sub-zero conditions in aid of Sports Relief recently, and thought, “Wow! If they can do that, I’m certain The Edge Crew can raise at least a couple of quid for Little Havens by cycling 25 and/or 60 miles on Sunday 2nd May in an official ride organised by Bike Events, writes The Edge Editor.

 

THE ANGST OF ANG

Written by Northern Lass   
Friday, 26 March 2010
As with the long tradition of Irish jokes, some gags about the North exploit the notion that we're all a bit stupid.

Take the following examples of some typical wisecracks at our expense:

Q. Why wasn't Jesus born in Yorkshire?

A. Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin in Leeds.



 
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