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Written by The Grumpy Goose
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Tuesday, 28 April 2009 |
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 Petrol costs around £1 per litre; so does milk. However, if we dig a little deeper...
Petrol costs us 30 pence per litre; the government adds 70 pence tax to bring it up to around £1 per litre. That's reasonable of our government, isn't it? How would it be if they applied the same tax to milk? Would we accept it? No, we would not. So, why do we accept the extortionate amount of tax on petrol?
Oil companies spend billions drilling for oil in inhospitable places; the North Sea, the desert, etc. Extracting oil from beneath the ground, and, in particular, the sea bed, is an astonishing feat of engineering. It's also a very expensive process. Once extracted, the oil is then transported halfway around the world, at great expense, to oil refineries, where it is turned into petrol; thanks to the skill of chemical engineers. The petrol is then distributed around the country for us to purchase at the amazingly cheap price of 30 pence per litre; and it DOES cost 30 pence per litre; the rest is tax.
Petrol is significantly cheaper than milk. We all blame oil companies
for the high price of petrol. But why don't we lay the blame where it
really belongs?
Why do we buy cow's milk? It's liquid fat from a cow's udder (tit).
Why? If it's OK to pay £1 per litre for this liquid filth from a cow's
tit, why not try milk from other animals? Why just stick to cows? What
about pig's milk? What's wrong with that? Dog's milk, anyone? Or even
goose milk? No, it's a disgusting thought. But just stand back from the
subject of drinking cow's milk a moment; think outside the box. We
(you) actually drink a bodily fluid from an animal. Yuk!
In case you hadn't guessed, I hate milk. I prefer petrol.
I am watching the news whist writing my column; the government have
just announced a proposed revision of MPs expenses. It is proposed
that, instead of claiming expenses for their houses, second houses,
yachts, quad bikes, bath plugs, porn films, mistresses, lazy sons,
etc., they will now receive £140 attendance allowance each time they
turn up for work at the House of Commons. This is the same system
currently in operation for MEPs in Brussels. The same system that was
at the root of a financial scandal whereby MEPs were ‘clocking in’ to
claim their allowance, then skiving off to the pub. Yes, it's a
shocking truth; even MEPs are not to be trusted. However, we can have
complete faith and trust in our MPs not to abuse the system, can't we?
So MPs will now vote whether to pay themselves £140 (on top of their
salaries) to turn up for work. Can we all expect the same? Of course we
can’t. Can you imagine the headline in The Daily Mail if, at the next
round of discussions to increase pay for public sector workers, they
asked for a £140 attendance allowance? Its madness gone mad.
Wind Farms - the uglification (is there such a word? There is now!) of
the English countryside and coastline. Is the Green lobby, those
vacuous hippy idiots, seriously suggesting that those hideously ugly
wind turbines are a realistic alternative to nuclear power? They are
ugly, expensive and barely generate enough electricity to run a 40 watt
light bulb. The Greens are destroying our countryside. Oh, the irony.
Dyslexia? Illiteracy, more like; let's use the correct word. Why do we
make excuses for the illiterate? Ah, poor little man, he can't read;
he's dyslexic. No he’s not. He's lazy; he should have paid more
attention at school. We just love to make excuses for people, don't we?
Talking of excuses....the Metropolitan Police. Yes, our friends at the
Met are at it again; killing and assaulting us in the name of law and
order. Will they get away with it? Of course they will.
I have just walked through Chelmsford High Street. The sun was shining;
it was a very pleasant 18 degrees. Never mind the first cuckoo of
Spring; I've just seen my first shirtless chavs of Spring. Two gormless
idiots strolling, shirtless, through the High Street with their scrawny
white bodies revealing idiotic tattoos. How delightful.
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