Hiding The Evidence!

Totally Tracie

Totally Tracie

Totally Tracie - Bringing you the word from the street, including what’s going UP and what’s falling DOWN.
Totally Tracie

Totally Tracie

Totally Tracie - Bringing you the word from the street, including what’s going UP and what’s falling DOWN.

At some point we are all going to have to return to “normality” some of us more normal than others!

In years to come future generations will ask us about “The Pandemic” cos believe it or not it is a “World historic Event” that we lived through. Grandchildren will say “what did you do Nanny in Isolation” to cope”?

“Errrr I made TikTok Videos, I drank everything I could lay my hands on! I started googling how to make hooch – if the Supermarkets went crazy”!

“I started becoming like a “crack whore“ – In order to score a bottle of milk everyday“ (I kid you not)!

I am going to have to come up with some great tale of adventure and hardship – like our wartime grandparents did!

I will have to invent a story of rationing In supermarkets (4 boxes of cornflakes per person per visit) The fights to get a packet of Andrex!

People working day and night in their kitchens cutting up duvet covers to make scrubs for nurses and me wrapping a pair of my son’s Calvin Klein Pants around my face to protect myself every-time Larry from Amazon called! You see Amazon drivers are now “key workers”. You have got to go out and pay your respect and thank them personally for putting their lives at risk! All that shouting and calling him a brainless idiot cos he threw my TV over the electric gate last year – thats all been forgotten! You see we all need a “backstory to tell the future generations”! Staying at home In bed drinking wine playing with our phones just won’t cut the mustard!

But one thing I have learnt in Lockdown is Gardening. Its been a case of having too! My gardener is in his late 70s! Poor man is isolating or is it just an excuse to keep away from me?

Last year I was at a frightfully posh dinner party and the conversation turned to “recycling”. Everyone was chipping in about washing out jars and separating paper and aluminium. Then it turned to glass. Everyone said how they carefully placed the wine and gin bottles in the crate ready for collection and how many bottles of wine the neighbours had compared to them (how they all laughed) then someone turned to me – and I had a Bridget Jones moment! Instead of just saying “I put it all in the black wheelie bin to hide the evidence from prying eyes” – “I said “oh I recycle all my glass into the garden”! Everyone sat forward wide eyed interested and wanted to eagerly know more! So I launched into some Peruvian bullshit story of crushing and tumbling glass to use in the base of pots as drainage! (Untrue)!

So anyway in Lockdown – I saw this and it got me thinking – you know what? May be just may be, I was ahead of my time!

I am thinking of building a feature in the garden this weekend as everlasting testament to my Lockdown struggle. What do you think? Should easily have Accumulated enough bottles in Lockdown to do this!

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5 Responses

  1. Certainly a step on from making a table lamp from an empty Mateus Rosé bottle. But of course you’re too young to remember the 70’s!

    1. I wished, but thank you greatly! I remember the days when Wine was only drunk on high days and holidays! The Galloping Gourmet was considered terribly Risque when he ate what he cooked on his TV show with red wine!

  2. Blimey Tracie give me a break will you, I don’t remember the 70’s!! It’s not that I wasn’t around it’s just that I don’t remember them! Mind you I struggle with last week but that’s my problem….

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