I’ll go out on a limb and assume that most of you know what Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighting is by now. For those of you who have no idea, MMA is where professional fighters from different styles of martial arts test both themselves and their fighting styles against each other. It’s similar to boxing, just not rubbish. As you can imagine there’s lots of elbow smashing, knee to the face fun to be had, and I’m sure you’ve also guessed by now that I’m a fan. Now, two men going into an arena with the express purpose of punching and kicking the other man until he stops moving is obviously a brutal and, sometimes, dangerous sport, but there’s always going to be one person out there who thinks it just isn’t dangerous enough.
Enter “Shock Fights”. The unsurprisingly illegal (and brilliant) shock fighting is very similar to MMA fighting in that it’s relatively no-holds barred to begin with, but this time they’ve decided to incorporate tasers into their gloves. Yes, tasers as in the things the Police use to incapacitate violent criminals by the simple expedient of shoving thousands of volts into their body. I’ve watched a few of them online now and, at first, they seemed curiously lacklustre. There wasn’t the same level of precision and skill involved as in the professional (and legal) arm of the sport, and there seemed to be a slowness and hesitancy to a lot of the fights.
Then I watched a few with the volume turned up a bit and could clearly hear the sizzling noise as several thousand volts of electricity hit them directly in the face several times in a row. Suddenly, the hesitancy seemed perfectly normal. In fact, what would have also been perfectly normal would have been one or both of the contestants screaming “What the fuck am I doing?!” and then running off screaming. Getting punched in the face isn’t particularly fun in the first place, but getting punched in the face while getting electrocuted at the same time? No thank you.
Is it dangerous? Yes. Is it a whole new level of stupid? Yes, yes it is and I love it for it.