Space. The tailors final frontier

MOTCO - Man on the Clapham Omnibus

MOTCO - Man on the Clapham Omnibus

Motson J. Tweedstrangler AKA Motco. A 59 year old money market professional and sometime Open University graduate dedicated to tweed and making sense of the world in 775 words through beige coloured spectacles.
MOTCO - Man on the Clapham Omnibus

MOTCO - Man on the Clapham Omnibus

Motson J. Tweedstrangler AKA Motco. A 59 year old money market professional and sometime Open University graduate dedicated to tweed and making sense of the world in 775 words through beige coloured spectacles.

We live in not only strange times but exciting times, that is if you are a space freak like myself. I am a child of the Apollo missions era and watched the build up flights to the moon and the actual moon landing with awe and wonderment. Before we go any further yes they did land on the moon end of discussion. Neil Armstrong is my hero, Charlie George too but still not in the same league as Neil! I have the space station tracker on my mobile phone and love to watch it go over at night and of course the satellites in formation recently. Then over the weekend the piece de resistance for the average space nerd, the chance to see, yes see, a rocket on its way to meet the space station. Saturday night came and myself and lady Mott were out the front watching that bright light wizz across the sky on its way to the rendezvous.

There is I have to say just one blot on this excitement, and its all about the clothing. Now I am not about to advocate a tweed spacesuit, although a heavy Harris would be as strong as anything NASA could rustle up lets face it. It is the notion that Elon Musk, batshit crazy name but hey ho, wanted his astronauts to be have spacesuits that looked like tuxedo’s. Yup you read it right, tuxedos, a dinner suit to you and me. Now I am not averse to James Bond stepping out of his space suit to reveal a dinner suit underneath. No self-respecting British agent would go int space in anything else. Let’s keep it real here! The Musk spacesuits were just awful, the boots looked like wellingtons. I have a belief based on a mantra a dear friend a life mentor always recited, look the part feel the part. It is so true and so I expect the two spaceman felt a real pair of prannys marching out to get into their TESLA electric cars to go out to the rocket. In the late 1960’s science fiction had spaceman dressed in all sorts of wonderful spacesuits, most of which although laughable even to a 10 year old, were more on the nail than the disasters I saw on Saturday. I wonder if in fact they themselves were wondering hmm a darn nice Harris or Yorkshire tweed would have been a treat for this.

Then it got worse. I saw them make their entrance to the space station dressed in neatly pressed Chinos with polo shirts tucked in and matching belts. I am not averse to matching accessories but it was all too tucky in neat and tidy. They looked like two guys working in the local print barn of a local shopping mall out in the boondocks. To recap, these guys have just sat on top of a controlled explosion that once started cant be stopped built by companies who tendered the cheapest price. They could at least look a bit more gung ho lantern jawed all conquering space hero, instead we got chuck and chad the chino kings!

I think I am going to get a decent telescope so as these start to happen more regularly I can watch and see much better, but deep in my heart I just cannot forgive Musk for those dammed spacesuits. If I ever saw Neil Armstrong walking down the corridor in a pair of wellies and some kind of tuxedo based spacesuit I would have been in the conspiracy camp of no landing and flat earthers. Bring back space travel but do it in style, the style that is a proper looking spacesuit!



6 Responses

  1. Lol I thought the same when they popped through the hatch Motty. I’m not sure what I was expecting but at the very least clad in a bloody spacesuit but maybe Buzz Lightyear or Indiana Jones, or how about John Wayne? Big John would’ve ridden thru the hatch on his horse!

    Yeah, bitterly disappointed mate.

    Even more disappointed I can’t work in a joke about a fart in a spacesuit but hey never mind.

  2. I don’t know what either of you are on about as space travel doesn’t interest me in the slightest, same as descending to the most alarming depths of our oceans doesn’t, on the grounds that I’m not very good at holding my breath. However, one of the best things I’ve seen of late (was it a year ago this summer, or maybe even two?) – well, best things ever, come to think about it – were those meteor flashes that happened on one particular night (you two space nerds will probably remember exactly when). We were camping in St. Davids, Pembrokeshire, and I know the skies are much clearer post Covid-19 (not that it’s ended yet), but reet out there on the most south-westerly tip of Wales, oooooh, it was so inky black, yet clear as a bell and it felt as though I could’ve plucked the stars right out of the sky if only I stretched my arm, they looked that close. And we all to a man. woman and child, watched in sheer joy and wonderment, huge smiles on everyone’s faces. And all for FREE too. Not a penny it cost. Yet one of the best evenings of my entire life.

  3. “I could’ve plucked the stars out of the sky for you” thought you were gonna sing then. I know that’s a bloody song but I’m buggered if I know what one!

  4. Don’t you get me into Dukes TT, I know your secrets 🙂

    No, that wasn’t it, I don’t even know that song, it was like Stylistics or something, I’m gonna have to bloody google it now!

  5. Got it TT! You to me are everything by The Real Thing;

    I would take the stars out of the sky for you
    Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
    I’d do anything for you, your wish is my command

    You’re welcome xx

Leave a Reply

Facebook Comments