Tea Wars



Editor & Head Honcho.


Editor & Head Honcho.

The Edge has written a bit about a cup of tea’s favorite accompaniment, the biscuit, on page 27 this month (“a drink’s too wet without one”), but how many of you remember those god-awful adverts for Typhoo tea featuring, of all things, a bloody gnu? Here’s how one of the songs went…

“I’m a Gnu, how do you do?
I’ve just moved into the house next door to you.
I’ve lost my Typhoo, so let me ask you,
Can I borrow some of that most refreshing brew?
The flavour’s so fine, every time,
I just can’t wait to tell those friends of mine…”

Tut! Naff, or what (even worse than The Edge’s Jokes Page)?

There have been advertisements in the past that have been pure genius, such as the Cadbury’s Smash Martians, the Honda advert featuring the bald-headed driver and all that they make, with the Andy Williams (it was Andy Williams, wasn’t it?) backing track, and Cadbury’s yet again with the Gorilla playing drums to a Phil Collins ditty for their chocolate. However, the Typhoo gnu ad simply wasn’t one of them. What do you think those advertising hotshots with their dickie-bows, flouncy handkerchiefs and kinky spectacles said to each other when they had to come up with a brand new campaign for Typhoo?

Could it have been something like: “Er, what actually rhymes with Typhoo?” Whatever it was, they failed miserably (a gnu for gawd’s sake). They need to take a (tea) leaf out of both PG Tips and Tetleys showreel of quality ads. Christ-on-a-bike, even Yorkshire Tea can spank Typoo’s arse….and it tastes pretty good too. Can’t think what got me to thinking about the Typhoo Gnu, mind you. Perhaps it was a spot of cheese eaten far too late at night?


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